A (very) late Mother's Day post

Honestly, as Mother's Day was approaching this year, I was thinking about what to get my mom and my mother in law and it really didn't even hit me that I now belong among those celebrated on that day. It was weird for me because I always remember any and every day that I should be celebrated...birthday, anniversary, ALL of the Marian feast days...but I somehow forgot about Mother's Day. We ended up "celebrating" it on Monday because I was working on Sunday. Motherhood has been strange. In some ways, I feel like I haven't changed a bit. In other ways, im so utterly different. One thing is for sure, my everyday experience of life has so dramatically changed that I can no longer fathom life without the constant and unconditional love (dependence) that Luisa has for me. 

Right now I work part time for the school. It seems to be a perfect balance because I get to be with Luisa every day. And even though I spend literally alomst every minute with her, Donny and I still miss her when we put her down for the night. We often contemplate waking her up just to hang out for a little longer. We don't wake her (most of the time) but we will spend a lot of those night flipping through photo after photo, video after video, of that little wonder. 

Donny and I have spoken about the many experiences of having a baby, but one thing that has stuck me is how I so often feel like she is not really my own child. Maybe this has to do with the fact that I grew up babysitting my whole life, or maybe because I have so many nieces to play with. But when I think about it in a larger sense, I realize that in fact, it is true. Luisa is not mine. She belongs to someone much greater and more capable than I. She is my little gift that I get to take care of for a while. Hopefully it's a long while.